Jul 20

40 shockingly simple skills that today’s Millennials have no idea how to do:

Behold the following list of amazingly simple skills that have somehow escaped Generation Snowflake. This is what happens when an entire society of teachers, parents and spineless community leaders tell young people they’re “awesome” and “amazing” even when they’re actually rather pathetic and clueless.

As you read this list, recognize that Millennials are just one event away from being removed from the human gene pool via natural selection following almost any disruptive event (power grid failure, natural disasters, war, etc.)

FACT CHECK: Find your closest Millennial neighbor and ask them to carry out anything on this list. If you can find any Millennial who can do any of these things, you may have accidentally stumbled across an Eagle Scout troop meeting. For the rest of today’s youth, they’re clueless!

Read this and weep for humanity’s future…

40 shockingly simple skills that today’s pathetic Millennials have no idea how to do

#1) Plant a seed in dirt and grow an edible plant.

#2) Change a bicycle tire.

#3) Sharpen a pencil.

#4) Identify the name of any tree or bird in the real world.

#5) Check the oil level in any engine.

#6) Name a single star in the night sky.

#7) Change a blown fuse in anything (or even reset a circuit breaker).

#8) Drive a stick shift. (Many don’t even know what “stick shift” means.)

#9) Navigate using a printed map without using GPS.

#10) Strike a punching bag without injuring their frail, fragile wrists.

#11) Repair a broken garden hose without throwing it away and buying a new hose.

#12) Stop bleeding with a tourniquet.

#13) Cut a piece of wood in a straight line using a hand saw.

#14) Carry a 50 lb. bag of animal feed on their shoulder for 50 meters.

#15) Cook a real meal that isn’t “instant” or microwaveable.

#16) Start a camp fire, even with a lighter.

#17) Sharpen a knife, even using a knife sharpener.

#18) Build a shelter in the forest by using only forest materials.

#19) Use a car jack without ripping the bumper off the vehicle.

#20) Chop wood for a wood stove.

#21) Locate and reset the ground fault tolerant button on an electrical outlet to restore power to the outlets.

#22) Dry clothes on a clothesline.

#23) Strip a copper wire.

#24) Securely tie a rope to anything at all.

#25) Calculate a 15% waiter tip in their heads.

#26) Make a broken bone splint out of anything at all.

And for advanced skills, Millennials have absolutely no idea how to do any of the following:

#27) Catch a fish.

#28) Clean a pistol.

#29) Swap out the hydraulic hose on a piece of farm equipment.

#30) Intelligently read any food label.

#31) Purify water using a plastic bottle and sunlight.

#32) Make a water filter out of charcoal and sand.

#33) Fold a paper airplane.

#34) Make an emergency funnel out of aluminum foil.

#35) Chop down a dead tree with an axe.

#36) Read a compass.

#37) Cut a stuck seatbelt to escape a burning vehicle.

#38) Paddle a canoe in any intended direction at all.

#39) Open any can of food without using electricity.

#40) Siphon fuel from the gas tank of an abandoned car.

Now ask yourself this question, and answer honestly. Given that most Millennials know absolutely nothing about the real world — and have no real-world skills to speak of — how can they possibly survive the next great collapse?

The only time they’re ever venturing out into the real world is when they’re playing Pokemon Go (and walking off cliffs or stumbling into traffic as a result). Go figure…

* * *

PayPal: Donate in USD
PayPal: Donate in EUR
PayPal: Donate in GBP

Tags: , , ,

2 Responses to “40 shockingly simple skills that today’s Millennials have no idea how to do”

  1. squodgy Says:

    All ticked!

    But there might be an issue with the compass these days as Magnetic North is wandering towards Siberia, and to trust a compass might cause a diplomatic incident at worst, but at best send you a few degrees south east or north west of true depending on where you’re headed.


  2. Billy Says:

    This kid was playing that stupid fucking game Pokemon go in his car driving around the park. My 3 year old and I were there at the time and I watched him race around watching his phone. He went back and forth at least a dozen times not watching what he was doing. When we left he drove by again so I went to talk to him. He actually hit me with his car and blamed me for it. I told him what he was doing was both unsafe and stupid. He said he wasn’t breaking any law and began to pull away without even asking if I was ok. At that point I punched a giant dent in the trunk of his car. Fucking kids! I told my little girl if she ever puts other people’s lives in danger over a stupid game it would be game over. She looked at me and said ok daddy:)

Leave a Reply