May 06

Justin Bieber’s crew is staging a mutiny over the prospect of the heartthrob’s tour going to Japan. The tour is currently in Australia, where some crew members told manager Scooter Braun that they wouldn’t go to Osaka and Tokyo on May 17 for fear of radiation from the recent nuclear disaster at Fukushima Daiichi. Braun told the crew, “Man the fuck up and do the right thing by these kids.” Sounds like a melodramatic TV movie.

During this same meeting, the traitorous crew pointed out that Avril Lavigne and Slash, of all people, had canceled their Japan tours. Braun fired back that Maroon 5 hadn’t canceled theirs. The two sides are still at loggerheads, and the status of Bieber’s Japan tour is up in the air. A bunch of cowards, all of them! Japan has had a terrible spring and Japanese tweens deserve to see the Bieber.

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