Nov 30

THE CONSERVATIVE PURGE BEGINS=> Apple Removes Breitbart From Their App Store

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Nov 21

H/t reader kevin a.

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Oct 20

Apple Stock Sinks After Reports Of iPhone 7 Bursting Into Flames

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Oct 03

Apple Stock Slides As Foxconn’s Smartphone Assembler Warns Of 52% Profit Drop In 2016

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Sep 30

Project Mayhem – Man Calmly Enters Apple Store And Crushes Every iPhone In Sight With A Ball Bearing:

It is unclear what caused this Frenchman to walk into an Apple store and crush every single iPhone in site with a metal ball bearing but that is exactly what he decided to do.  Perhaps he was one of the unfortunate victims of a spoof video that apparently succeeding a convincing people to drill a headphone jack in their new iPhone 7?

Luckily for the iPhone smasher, this event occurred in France where security guards quickly surrendered the store and allowed the man to simply walk out and go on his merry way.

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Sep 17

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Here Are The “Lines Of People” Waiting For The New iPhone 7

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Sep 14

Apple’s new ‘wireless’ headphones emit radiation … right next to your brain:

To much fanfare and excitement, Apple has announced that the iPhone 7 will come with wireless earbuds, ditching the much-reviled and ever-tangled cords of conventional earbuds. The wireless earbuds, dubbed “AirPods,” will be water-resistant and are, in the words of company CEO Tim Cook, the first step to a “wireless future.”

They will also fire dangerous, cancer-causing radiation directly into the brains of users, experts have warned.

The iPhone will communicate via Bluetooth directly with the right earbud, which will send a separate Bluetooth signal to the left earbud. This means the radiation carrying the signal will pass directly through the user’s brain. Continue reading »

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Sep 08

First Sign Of Trouble: Apple Will No Longer Release iPhone Pre-order Numbers

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Aug 30

Apple Ordered To Repay $14.5 Billion In “Illegal” Tax Benefits, Stock Falls 2%:

As the FT reported first yesterday, the EU has judged that the Irish government granted Apple “undue tax benefits” and moments ago announced the specific size of the penalty when it ordered the tech giant repay up to €13 billion ($14.5 billion) plus interest. According to the EU, the Irish deal slashed Apple taxes from 2003 to 2014, and allowed Apple to avoid tax on almost all EU profit.

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Aug 29

Jack Lew Furious After Europe Set To Hit Apple With “Largest Tax Penalty Ever”:

Just minutes after the excitement over Apple’s new product announcement hit, The FT drops a rather more painful headline stating that Apple will on Tuesday be hit with Europe’s largest tax penalty after Brussels ruled that the company received illegal state aid from Ireland. Despite Treasury Secretary Lew’s pleas/demands just a week ago that the EU back off, the company will have to pay billions of euro in back taxes to Dublin as the European Commission moves to redraw the boundaries on aggressive tax avoidance by the world’s biggest corporations.

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Aug 19

Apple Demanding Cost Cuts From Suppliers After 30% Plunge In Orders: Digitimes:

Apple stock is sliding very modestly for now as Digitimes reports Tim Cook has asked downstream part and component suppliers in Taiwan to reduce quotes for iPhone 7 devices by as much as 20%…even though order volumes for new phones are reportedly 30% lower than those placed a year earlier.

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Jul 22

apple-iphone

iPhone bug allows hackers to steal passwords with just a text message – update now to protect yourself:

Apple has fixed a major security hole that potentially allowed hackers to gain access to a user’s iPhone, potentially allowing them to steal sensitive data such as passwords.

The flaw allowed hackers to break into an iPhone simply by sending them a text message with a specially-modified image file. Continue reading »

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Jul 21

Apple Watch Sales Tumble 55%:

Tim Cook’s first major, standalone product is a flop. According to the latest IDC data, sales of the Apple Watch plunged by 55%, from 3.6 million a year ago to just 1.6 million in Q2. 

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Jun 20

Oh Look, Another Microphone On In Your House!:

Give me a break...

As expected, this new version of macOS will finally bring support for Siri to the desktop. To bring up Siri, which is getting its own improvements today, too, all you have to do is say “hey Siri,” and Apple’s modestly useful AI assistant will be at your beck and call.

Siri will be able to help you find files on your Mac and send messages, and because it works in the background, it’ll also help you perform tasks while you are using other apps in full-screen mode, Apple says.

And, of course, it will be transmitting your speech back to Apple whenever it feels like it.

Welcome to spying corporate-style.  Well, at least until the government “asks”, at which point it will be open season.

My only question to Apple would be this: Can I shut that piece of crap off and actually know it’s off or do I need to open up the Mac and snip the microphone connector wire physically?

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Jun 13

iPhone-cracked

Apple 2016 iPhone Sales To Fall For The First Time Due To “Lukewarm Demand”, Shipments To Drop 8.6%:

Moments ago Japan’s Nikkei warned that Apple will see the first annual decline in iPhone shipments this year since the smartphone’s debut in 2007 “due to lukewarm demand for a new model, people familiar with the matter told Nikkei Asian Review.” As Nikkei reports citing a person at a major supplier, overall iPhone shipments will total 210 to 220 million this year, falling as much as 8.6% from 2015.

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May 12

AAPL Tumbles After Report Of 70-80% Plunge In iPhone Chip Shipments:

Apple share are tumbling (as are the entire complex of suppliers) following a report from Nikkei that Taiwan Seminconductor’s shipments of iPhone 6s, iPhone 7 chips for June-Dec. period will likely shrink 70%-80% vs year earlier. As one anayst noted, a decline of more than 20-30% is not in consensus estimates. As Bloomberg reports, of particular interest is that this cut to orders is about upcoming iPhone 7, not about the well-publicized iPhone 6 slowdown.

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Apr 29

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Economy In Decline: Apple Reports Massive Revenue Decline As iPhone Sales Plummet Dramatically:

Corporate revenues in the United States have been falling for quite some time, but now some of the biggest companies in the entire nation are reporting extremely disappointing results.  On Tuesday, Apple shocked the financial world by reporting that revenue for the first quarter had fallen 7.4 billion dollars compared to the same quarter last year.  That is an astounding plunge, and it represents the very first year-over-year quarterly sales decline that Apple has experienced since 2003.  Analysts were anticipating some sort of drop, but nothing like this.  And of course last week we learned that Google and Microsoft also missed revenue and earnings projections for the first quarter of 2016.  The economic crisis that began during the second half of 2015 is really starting to take hold, and even our largest tech companies are now feeling the pain. Continue reading »

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Apr 28

“No Brainer” – Carl Icahn Dumps Entire Stake Of AAPL:

And just like that the “no brainer” party’s over. Remember when in January 2014 Carl Icahn laid out his extensive thesis on why being long AAPL is the best investment out there?  Or when a little over a year later, hoping for even more stock buybacks (even as he was decrying short term activism) he boosted his price target on AAPL to $240?  All that is now over and moments ago Carl Icahn admitted that the hedge fund hotel holding AAPL stocks, which consisted of 163 hedge funds as of December 31, has one less member, and he has sold his entire Apple position.

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Apr 27

Apple Suicide: Man With Head Wound Found Dead At Apple Headquarters Conference Room; Gun Found Nearby:

Update: according to ABC’s Matt Keller, the dead person found in a conference room at Apple Headquarters was a man. A gun was found nearby.

Reuters adds that according to the East Bay Times newspaper reported that an emergency call was made at 8:35 a.m. from Apple’s campus in Cupertino and that the victim, who had suffered a head wound, was pronounced dead at the scene.  Local television station KTVU said investigators from the Santa Clara County Sheriff’s Office were en route to the scene. Continue reading »

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Apr 06

iPhone security flaw lets anyone access your contacts and photos without a passcode:

Luckily, the flaw only affects devices that have given Siri relevant permissions to access these applications. At the time of writing there does not appear to be an official fix for the bug however concerned users can fully disable Siri on the lock screen to ensure they don’t fall victim.

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Feb 24

Bill Gates Says Apple Is Wrong for Not “Helping” the FBI, Built Back Doors into All Windows Software Since 1999:

It’s all over the news that Bill Gates is coming out publicly admonishing Apple for not bending over backwards to build a skeleton key that unlocks everyone’s cell phones for the FBI in the wake of the San Bernardino shooting. He’s twisting the narrative to make it seem like this skeleton key, once in existence, wouldn’t be used again and again on other people’s phones (and will be forever).

His argument isn’t even a very good one. Continue reading »

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Feb 23

FBI’s Own Actions Likely Made Farook’s iPhone Data Inaccessible:

On Friday, we noted that one of the reasons that the FBI was unable to get access to the data on the remaining iPhone from Syed Farook was because after the shooting and after the phone was in the hands of the government, Farook’s employer, the San Bernardino Health Department, initiated a password change on his iCloud account. That apparently messed stuff up, because without that, it would have been possible to force the phone to backup data to the associated iCloud account, where it would have been available to the FBI. But, after we published that article, a rather salient point came out: the Health Department only did this because the FBI asked it to do so.

From a San Bernardino County Twitter account: Continue reading »

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Feb 19

Big Brother iphone zombiesAAPL Zombies

Is It All Just A Publicity Stunt: Apple Unlocked iPhones For The Feds 70 Times Before:

Apple’s stance in the San Bernardino case may not be quite the principled defense that Cook claims it is… it may have as much to do with public relations as it does with warding off what Cook called “an unprecedented step which threatens the security of our customers.””

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Feb 19

McAfee: I Will Decrypt Information on the San Bernardino Phone For Free:

(TRUTHINMEDIA) Using an obscure law, written in 1789 — the All Writs Act — the US government has ordered Apple to place a back door into its iOS software so the FBI can decrypt information on an iPhone used by one of the San Bernardino shooters.

It has finally come to this. After years of arguments by virtually every industry specialist that back doors will be a bigger boon to hackers and to our nation’s enemies than publishing our nuclear codes and giving the keys to all of our military weapons to the Russians and the Chinese, our government has chosen, once again, not to listen to the minds that have created the glue that holds this world together. Continue reading »

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Feb 05

The Swiss National Bank Doubled Its Holdings Of AAPL Stock In 2015

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Nov 12

Apple chief executive Tim Cook leaving Trinity College in Dublin
Apple chief executive Tim Cook leaving Trinity College in Dublin

Apple boss: Next generation of children ‘will not know what money is’:

Tim Cook, chief executive of Apple, makes bold prediction about the death of cash as he promotes Apple Pay alternative

The next generation of children born in Britain “will not know what money is”, the boss of Apple has predicted.

Tim Cook, the chief executive of technology giant, forecast the death of cash by the time current university students have a family. Continue reading »

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Nov 05

Swiss National Bank Slammed For Massive Valeant Loss; Adds Another 900,000 Apple Shares In Q3:

Overnight, the SNB which unlike the Fed and the other “serious” central bank hedge funds, released a 13-F updating on its latest stock portfolio. We learned that in the quarter in which AAPL stock tumbled to $92 during the August 24 ETFlash crash, the Swiss money printing authority which reported a record $20 billion loss in the second quarter, and a record $52 billion in the first half, added another 909,000 AAPL shares, bringing its new grand total to 10.3 million shares,

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Nov 03

Apple-hacked

The Unhackable iPhone Has Been Compromised: “Intelligence Agencies Can Intercept Calls, Messages, & Access Data”:

Iphone maker Apple, Inc. claimed last month that their latest iteration of the wildly popular handheld device was unhackable. According to HackRead, the company is so convinced of its security successes that they issued a statement saying that data stored on a phone secured with a front screen passcode was impossible to access – even by highly talented intelligence agencies:

The CIA and the FBI are always looking for backdoors in Apple devices, in fact, the agency spent years trying to hack iPhone and iPads according to documents released by NSA’s Edward Snowden.

Now, with the new upgraded operating systems, Apple has termed it “impossible” to access any data from Apple devices. Though, the company can still access data from older phones. Continue reading »

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Sep 29

Tech Company Censorship – Apple Bans App Cataloguing Every U.S. Drone Strike; Facebook Blocks Ad for “Negativity”

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Sep 19

iphone sperm china

China’s Latest Craze: Sperm For iPhone:

The biggest scare haunting Apple stock in recent months has been whether the slow at first, then quite sudden collapse in both the Chinese economy, not to mention its burst stock market bubble (which in Chinese propaganda retrospect, is now a great thing), will put the breaks on Chinese purchases of Apple’s most important and profitable product – the iPhone. Indeed according to a just released UBS report, while it takes the average New York worker about 24 hours to afford a 16GB iPhone 6, this number rises to 218 hours in Beijing. And the great China’s economic slowdown the higher the number will go, and the lower Apple’s revenues in the coming quarters.

However, for China’s middle class, whose dreams of market bubble riches just went up in a margin call, there is still hope to pretend to be richer than one’s neighbor courtesy of a faux rose gold cell phone. The answer: a tablespoon of sperm.

As Xinhua reports, “technophiles may not have to reach far to find the cash for Apple’s latest model. According to an advertisement with the Shanghai Sperm Bank – all you have to do is donating.”

“No need to sell a kidney…Shanghai sperm bank can make your iPhone 6s dream come true,” says the ad which has gone viral on China’s most popular social networking app WeChat this week.

From Xinhua:

Capitalizing on the country’s lust for new technology, the sperm bank hopes to fix a shortage in donors ahead of the release of the iPhone 6s next week. Those who qualify to donate can receive up to 6,000 yuan for 17 ml of semen. The latest Apple model is expected to cost around 5,288 yuan.

The morbid jokes just write themselves:

“Why sell your kidney when you can donate sperm? It’s a great deed that can bring happiness to a whole family,” said microblog Weibo user “Wojiushiwutong”.

As a reminder, while “selling kidneys” is usually just a phrase, in China it became all too real in 2011 when a teenager sold one of his kidneys to buy and iPhone and an iPad. “To sell a kidney has become a well-known metaphor for the fever pitch surrounding Apple products.”

A sperm bank in central China’s Hubei Province posted a similar ad highlighting a picture of the new rose gold iPhone 6s, a color created mainly to attract Chinese consumers. The Shanghai ad is bluntly titled “New Solution to Get iPhone 6s”, evoking some criticism that the sperm bank is being insensitive.

“I don’t like the idea of making money out of sperm donation to buy new iPhones. Sperm donation is a very serious cause for public good,” one Weibo user said. But a spokesperson with the Shanghai sperm bank told Xinhua the campaign has worked well so far, raising awareness and attracting potential donors.

The reason why 17 ml of sperm are so valuable in China is because not only are there thousands of infertile couples in China, but all sperm banks across the country face donation shortages because many young men are unaware or too embarrassed to donate, forcing the banks to turn to social media.

Even if they do find a sufficient pool of potential donors, certain criteria must be met to be eligible. Donors must be between 22 to 45 years old, hold a college degree and have high-quality semen that can survive the rigors of freezing and thawing.Which still keeps the pool of eligible candidates in the tens if not hundreds of millions.

It was not exactly clear how potential female consumers of iPhone are supposed to capitalize on this latest Chinese craze, and while there are countless, and very humorous, places one can take this latest manifestation of capitalism perhaps gone too far, one potential Chinese “channel check” may have appeared: masturbation as a leading indicator of iPhone sales. Because just when sales were starting to turn flaccid, here comes China’s sperm-for-iPhones Hail Mary, promising at least several more quarters of firm stock reactions to EPS beats.

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