… we are offering a list of Top Ten Things To Come in the coming year.
1. Recovery will reach escape velocity and escape the economy altogether 2. All executive orders will be declared constitutional by executive order 3. Robert Kennedy Jr. will apologize for being white and male, blaming his parents 4. The New York Times will cut operating costs by replacing fact-checkers with rubber stamp 5. A Harvard professor will find evidence proving evidence proves nothing 6. City of San Francisco will be leveled because steep hills made it handicap inaccessible 7. Nobel-winning economists will admit bafflement that deficit keeps growing despite increased government spending 8. Last Baby Boomer will go kicking and screaming into his 60s; generation will be renamed ‘Crybaby Boomers’ 9. Congress will stand up to Wall Street; bankers will take their seats 10. Sesame Street will sue Letter ‘S’ for monopolizing both plural and possessive nouns
We’re saved! The CDC has now partnered with the FDA to approve a new medical treatment for Ebola, guaranteed to offer 100% protection against the coming pandemic. The new anti-Ebola drug is called “Vitamin D-Nial” and will be offered free of charge at all voting booths on November 4. Continue reading »