Nov 15

John Oliver Has 30-Minute, On-Air, Nervous Breakdown Over Trump Victory – “It’s Fucked Up!”:

Back in 2013, John Oliver guest-hosted The Daily Show and mockingly begged Donald Trump to run for President:

Do it!  Do it!  Look at me, do it.  I will personally write you a campaign check now, on behalf of this country, which does not want you to be President but which badly wants you to run.”

Turns out Oliver probably should be more careful what he wishes for.  After begging Trump to run for President in 2013, Oliver spent the entire 30-minute season finale of his show, “Last Week Tonight,” recording his own nervous breakdown over Trump’s victory.  The full on-air meltdown can be viewed below, but here a couple of the key lines:

“Let us begin with out first and only story, the 2016 election.  Or as you may know it, ‘I thought I wanted it to be over, but now that it’s over, I wish it was still going on because it turns out the ending is even worse,’ Twenty-Fucking-Sixteen.”

“It turns out, instead of showing our daughters that they could someday be president, America proved that no grandpa is too racist to become leader of the free world.”

“We are faced with the same questions as a guy that woke up the day after a Vegas bachelor party deep in the desert, naked, tied to a cactus and a dead clown, namely, how the fuck did we get here and what the fuck do we do now?”

“While some are arguing that Trump may not have meant all those things, that leaves us with two devastating options, either we just elected a president who didn’t mean a single word he said or we elected one who did.”

“Write it on a Post-It note and stick it on your refrigerator, hire a skywriter once a month, tattoo it on your ass, because a Klan-backed misogynist internet troll is going to be delivering the next State of the Union address, and that is not normal. It is fucked up.”

“Our president-elect has, at various times, said he would bomb civilians, loot oil and waterboard, which isn’t a military strategy so much as the series of words that Donald Rumsfeld mutters so he can stay hard while he’s masturbating.”

“It’s like we’re on a plane and we just found out our pilot is a wombat.  I don’t like this, I don’t understand how it happened and I’m pretty sure we’re heading for disaster but what the hell, come on, batty, prove me wrong!”

With that, here is the full meltdown:

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