– Doug Kass: The Day The Market Died (ZeroHedge, Oct 13, 2014):
Here is Doug Kass’ latest: “The Day the Market Died” (to be sung to the tune of Don McLean’s ” American Pie” and with special recognition to Sean Brady and Tom Kearney who originally presented this concept after the Nasdaq blew up in 2000).
Have some fun and sing along!
A long, long month ago
I can still remember
How the market used to make me smile
What I’d do when I had the chance
Is get myself a cash advance
And add another social media stock to the pile
But Whirlybird Yellen began to make me shiver
With every speech that she delivered
Bad news on the global growth front
Still I’d take one more punt
I can’t remember if I cried
When I heard about the lowly CPI
But you could lose your capital and your bride
The day the market died
So bye bye to my piece of the pie
I poured my paycheck into the Russell
Now my cash account’s dry
It’s just one month from a new all-time high
And now we’re right back where we were in July
We’re right back where we were in July
Did you buy stocks you never heard of?
LinkedIn at $230 or above?
‘Cause the shoe shine boy told you so
Now do you believe in Home Depot?
Can Berkshire save your portfolio?
And can you teach me what’s a P/E ratio?
Well, I know that you were leveraged too
So you can’t just take a long-term view
Your broker shut you down
No more margin could be found.
I never worried on the whole way up
Buying Tesla from the back of a pickup truck
But on Friday I ran out of luck
The day the market died
I started singin’
Bye bye to my piece of the pie
I poured my paycheck into the Russell
Now my cash account’s dry
It’s just three weeks from a new all-time high
And now we’re right back where we were in July
Yeah, we’re right back where we were in July
Now for 20 days, we’ve been on our own
And my E-Trade broker probably won’t pick up the phone
But that’s not how it used to be
When investors snapped up another bubble
With cash they borrowed easily
And a quote that flashed up permanently green
Oh, and just as things were turning ’round
Putin slapped the Ukraine down
The courtroom was adjourned
A Bear Market verdict was returned
And while the EU read a book on Marx
Buffet smirked and Chanos barked
While the bears sang dirges at “The Ali Blah Blah Top”
The day the market died
I started singin’
Bye bye to my piece of the pie
I poured my paycheck into the Russell
Now my cash account’s dry
It’s just three weeks from a new all-time high
And now we’re right back where we were in July
Yeah we’re right back where we were in July
Manic panic, it’s just like the Titanic
Unsinkable and now problems well beyond the Atlantic
The Dow was at 16,500 but falling fast
On “Squawk Box,” Tom Lee landed foul on the grass
While Joe and Becky were still trying for a forward pass
With Larry Kudlow on the sidelines in a cast
Now “Fast Money’s Halftime Report” air was filled with sweet perfume
But Mr. Market wasn’t playing the Najarians’ marching tune
The bulls all got up to dance
Oh, but they never got the chance!
‘Cause the bearish players took the field
As the long bond fell another 50 basis points in yield
Was mean regression ever really repealed
The day the market died?
I started singin’
Bye bye to my piece of the pie
I poured my paycheck into the Russell
Now my cash account’s dry
It’s just three weeks from a new all-time high
And now we’re right back where we were in July
Yeah we’re right back where we were in July
Oh, and suddenly we’re underwater
Billionaires all hot and bothered
With no cash left to buy again
So come on, Fed be anxious, com-pen-sate
By lowering to negative the fed funds rate
‘Cause easy money is a bubble’s only friend
And as I watched the indices fall
I received the dreaded margin call
No broker born in hell
Could make me want to sell
But as my gains fell fast into the crash
E-Trade began demanding cash
The talking heads were talking trash
The day the market died
They were singing
Bye bye to my piece of the pie
I poured my paycheck into the Russell
Now my cash account’s dry
It’s just three weeks from a new all-time high
And now we’re right back where we were in July
Yeah we’re right back where we were in July
I met a strategist, the market’s most optimistic equity muse
I asked him for their earnings news
But he just smiled and turned away
I logged on to the trading floor
Where I made my fortune weeks before
But they demanded to see cash before I played
And on T.V. the ticker streamed
Stifel’s Bannister cried and the short sellers dreamed
Not a bullish word was spoken
The daytraders were choking
And the three stocks I acquired last
GoPro, Netflix and Comcast
Couldn’t catch a bid and faded fast
The day the market died
And they were singing …
Bye bye to my piece of the pie
I poured my paycheck into the Russell
Now my cash account’s dry
It’s just two weeks from a new all-time high
And now we’re right back where we were in July
Yeah we’re right back where we were in July